I remember knowing about MySpace without fully understanding it. The next thing I recall hearing about was Facebook. And by the time I’d heard about Twitter, I’d fully judged social media as an avenue for the self-absorbed, self-centered, egocentric, pretentious, and self-important to make their presence known. I would think of it as digging through the garbage cans of people’s lives, or as feeding the desperate attention-grabbing attempts of the vapid members of society. When I judge, I go hard in the paint.
Years ago, I was asked at work about my opinions on how we should use Facebook or Twitter for professional updates and I couldn’t offer any insight because I had no experience. This person, both my superior and my elder, was visibly stunned and asked me, “How old are you?” Immediately – literally, immediately – I opened a few accounts. I still had absolutely no interest in social media, but I’d be damned if I wasn’t going to contribute during strategy meetings and be marketable for any other opportunities.
Essentially, I’d bought the idea that social media promotes speaking at the cost of listening. I didn’t articulate it in that way until after watching Michaela Coel’s I May Destroy You, Season/Series One, Episode 9: Social Media Is a Great Way to Connect. That concept struck me and stuck with me for quite a while after the episode aired. Not only did it give me a concise way of articulating how I felt, but it also gave me food for thought as I was designing and creating this blog.
When I decided to disallow comments on my posts in this blog – speaking, perhaps at the cost of listening – it felt true to the purpose of the blog. When I began blogging about Vulnerability, everything was wide open and I got what y’all give – criticism and compliments. And in trusting y’all with my vulnerabilities (the whole point of that journey) I had to take the criticism and the compliments. No, I chose to take the criticism and the compliments. Now that I am blogging about Identity, the whole point is to strip off other people’s labels so I can bask in glory of who I am. So comments are disabled because for over 40 years y’all have been speaking and I have been listening.
The idea of exploring Identity in general, my identity in particular, online feels self-absorbed, self-centered, egocentric, pretentious, and self-important. This blog, this personal journey, is indeed self-absorbed, self-centered, and self-important because I have unilaterally decided that you should know certain intimate things about me as I know and grow to learn about myself. It’s egocentric, and it’s pretentious because, well, who cares about who I am? And the focus of all of it is telling you who I am. No argument there. That is speaking without listening.
Before deciding to write this blog I had been listening to people ask me “why” and “how” about my motivation and drive in certain aspects of my philosophies of life. I’ve been asked in so many words how I manage the cards I’ve been dealt. When I respond, much of what I say calls to question the aspects of my identity. In order to write this blog, when I write I have to decide that I am not speaking at the cost of listening because I listened first and am speaking now. Maybe that’s the right answer. Maybe that’s the wrong answer. I will accept the responsibility of my words, continue to consider what these words mean, and accept the consequences of my words.
I am Regina Lynette. I was listening. Now I’m speaking.
I am Regina Lynette 